Do IT Afraid
Today’s blog is a sensitive subject for me because it’s something that I had to walk out myself. I mentioned in one of my previous post that we lost 2 babies. I want to bring attention to this subject because I’m finding that many women suffer through this in silence feeling as if no one understands. After I lost the first time, it was amazing how many woman came out of the “wood work” saying that they had the same experience. If this is something that you are going through, or have gone through, I want you to know that you are not alone. And just because you lost once, doesn’t mean that motherhood can’t happen for you. I found out that one of my friends lost 4 times, she is now the mother of 3. I was talking to another person over the weekend who was talking about a family member whose pregnancies all ended in miscarriage. I believe that this is a reason why we need to talk more about Safe Havens, adoptions, and Big Brother/Big Sister Programs (to be a part of a child’s life but not have to raise them, but be an influence for them). It’s possible that you can love a child that maybe you didn’t give birth to but, still use the love that you have inside of you. One of the friends of the blog, adopted a girl a few years ago. She looks like she is the child’s birth mother. They have an amazing story!
Another things that I want to make sure I talk about is, pregnancy after age 35. Which is coined, “Advanced Maternal Age”. (Even actress, Haley Berry had to deal with this label. Can you image being as fit and gorgeous as she is, but labeled as Advanced Maternal Age?) I had my first at age 39 and the baby boy at 42.
I had pneumonia a few days before my birthday, while I was pregnant with the baby boy. You would have thought that I was some type of “Endangered Phenomenon”. There were about 3 women working at the hospital that I think I was sent to the hospital to encourage that day. I’m tempted to go back and see what happened in their lives since our talk. One lady in particular was in admissions. She was 39, had been married for a year and had two teenagers from a previous relationship. As she read my file, she looked up at me and said, Mrs. Alexander, you are 41, you have a birthday in a few days and you’re expecting. I nodded yes. If you don’t mind my saying, I really admire you. My husband wants a baby, but I thought that I was too old to have one. Seeing you today is making me have second thoughts. My response to her was, Ms., if it’s God’s will for your baby to be born, then the baby will be born. If it’s your heart’s desire to have a baby. Don’t let fear keep you from doing something that is in your heart to do.
That’s the encouragement that I want to offer anyone who needs it. Sometimes you just have to jump into the next phase of your life with “both feet”. Do whatever your “IT” is even if you have to do it afraid. After losing my first baby, I was scared a good part of my pregnancy. I was blessed to have my pastors praying for me throughout the pregnancy (both pregnancies). Prayer works!
If you are trying to accomplish something, I strongly advise you to get around like minded people. Whether its pregnancy, starting a new venture, a business, getting an education, getting out of certain neighborhood. Whatever it is. Find someone who has done what you want to do. How did they do it? Know that it’s possible. It may not be conventional. Meaning the way you accomplish your task may not be the way everyone else does. And guess what, it’s ok. Sometimes you have to start where you are. Pursue it, even if you have to do it afraid.
If you are a person who prays, then pray for wisdom and direction. Proverbs 3:6 says, Acknowledge God in all your ways and he will direct (or make straight) your path. If are not a person of faith, I have heard people use the principle, I think, therefore I am. (Which in faith language is, As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.) If you can change your thinking, you can change your life. Stay away from vision killers. If you have a vision/hope in your heart about something. It can become tangible. Take it a day and a step at a time. Don’t give up!
Even if your hope is for your own little one and you are over 40. Well, during my last pregnancy, I knew 3 other women who were also over 40 who were pregnant. We all had very healthy, beautiful babies. One friend in particular was 46, her youngest was 16 years old. After she had her baby girl, she looked better than she did before her pregnancy!
I’ll end the blog with this… Find your IT and Pursue IT even if you have to do IT afraid.